Remnants
by abls
Summary: YAOI. AU. After Euphemia dies in a car accident, Lelouch is the only one there to pick up what's left of Suzaku. Will be M Rated in future chapters.


**A/N:** This is my first alternate universe fic. I hope you guys can pick up what happened and what's happening. And I don't really know how long this will be. I just needed to write _something _and this came out... I do know it will be Rated M at some time though.

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It's a beautiful Sunday. The sun is out among large, fluffy cumulus clouds that drift by slowly across the light blue sky. Birds chirp as they welcome the weather, and butterflies flit from flower to flower in a light dance. Springtime has come and the flowers are starting to bloom again, spots of color sprouting across the cemetery's lush green grass.

The funeral is a small one.

Friends and family only. Suzaku didn't have any family, and besides Lelouch and Nunnaly, Euphemia's was too estranged for anyone else to come. They didn't have a lot of friends either; Suzaku not really going beyond the circle of friends he made in Ashford Academy and during his time as a soldier, and Euphemia only befriending a couple of people during her time in the hospital as a nurse.

Suzaku doesn't say a word the entire time. He doesn't react when people sit next to him and try to offer kind words, he doesn't look up when people stand to give their eulogies and look toward him to give one. Lelouch watches him from across the casket, recognizes the hollow stare in those green eyes, and he clenches his fists above his lap. He doesn't make any attempts to sit next to Suzaku and console him, to rub his back and tell him, _It's going to be okay_, no matter how much he wants to, because he knows Suzaku isn't here with them.

His mind is somewhere else, back in last Tuesday, slowing every moment, starting when he picked her up from work, like he did everyday. Then the memory moves to when they were on the way home, probably discussing what they would they'd be having for dinner, maybe she had chicken casserole in mind or maybe they'd just order Japanese so they could eat while watching a nice movie showing on HBO that Suzaku had always wanted to watch. Finally, it stops when the truck hits them, the driver too drunk to see an inch in front of him, and then everything goes black. Lelouch knows that Suzaku is probably replaying that last scene over and over again, dissecting the exact millisecond and telling himself when he could – no, _should_ – have swerved the car to avoid getting hit head on, reminding himself of how _stupid _he was, how it was all his fault that they were hit, that she died – that it was because of him…

Every part of Lelouch's being wanted to tell Suzaku he was wrong.

The only time Suzaku moves is when he stands to drop his rose before they bury the casket. A white rose… a love lost, a young love, friendship, purity, innocence, hope; everything that Suzaku had seen in Euphemia and everything that made him fall in love with her. He first met her during the war, when they were both stationed in Pont-Croix, he as a soldier and she as a nurse in the medical bay. They both shared the same views, the same ideals, the same belief that the war was wrong and never should have happened – and everything started from there.

When the war was over and they returned home, engaged, Lelouch was the first person Suzaku called, the first person to hear the great news, and probably the only person whose heart broke because of it.

When the accident happened, Lelouch was the first person Suzaku called, the first person to race to the hospital after hearing the horrible news, and probably the only person whose heart broke a second time at the sight of his best friend in such a terrible state, with bruises and cuts on his face that he probably didn't even know he had as he broke down outside the emergency room, waiting for news he already knew.

By the time everyone leaves, Suzaku is still sitting in his chair, staring at the green spot of grass where the casket used to be. Nunnally asks Lelouch if he wants her to stay with him a little longer, but he tells her that it's okay, and after saying her farewell to Suzaku, the words falling on deaf ears, she leaves with Rolo, her hand in his as he pushes her to their car. Lelouch leans against his black car, his arms crossed over his chest as he looks up at Suzaku, sitting alone on the hill. He gives him an hour until he walks back up to take his friend back to his place.

Lelouch stops beside Suzaku and glances down at his best friend. "Suzaku," he says, hesitantly resting a hand on Suzaku's shoulder. "Let's get you something to eat… you haven't eaten since Thursday."

Suzaku doesn't say anything, but Lelouch sees him swallow and his hands flex above his knee. The sight makes Lelouch relax just a little. At least he's responsive.

Lelouch looks ahead, at the trees rustling because of the breeze. "She's in a better place now," he says slowly. He knows it isn't the best thing to say though. Suzaku's probably tired of hearing it, from the doctors in the hospital, the staff in the funeral home, and even from his friends.

"The only place she should be is with me."

Lelouch nods. He had been careless with his words, and while he can't help but feel a small twinge in his chest at Suzaku's answer, a part of him is relieved that Suzaku is starting to respond, to show an emotion besides grief and sorrow. He squeezes Suzaku's shoulder before dropping his hand back to his side. "Come on," he says. "Let's eat."

Suzaku doesn't say anything, but he stands fifteen minutes later, his movements rough and stiff. He doesn't say a word when he turns around and walks down the hill, but Lelouch follows right after him. When they both get in the car and put on their seatbelts, Suzaku leans back and turns his face to look out the window, back up at the hill where the love of his life rests in peace.

"Thank you, Lelouch."

Lelouch starts the car. "You don't need to thank me, Suzaku."

After all, regardless of his own feelings, he was Suzaku's best friend, and he was determined pick up what was left of him and put him back together.


End file.
